Why You Shouldn’t Be Happy All The Time
The pursuit of happiness is gravely misunderstood in this modern era. It is a myth that a good life is all about being happy.
Sometimes it is okay to not be okay! Striving to be happy all the time is not only unrealistic but also unhealthy. It is absolutely fine to an extent to be sad, depressed, angry, dejected, or heartbroken. It is one thing to be positive and another thing to chase happiness always. You can experience all the above emotions and yet be positive if you are resilient in life.
The problem is that our society expects us to be happy always or at least act happy even if we are not. Every time someone asks “how are you?” we are conditioned to reply “I’m fine”. But why?
Somehow, this mentality restrains us from acknowledging our negative emotions.
But happiness is only transient! It comes and goes like the waves of an ocean. Some days you hit it like a rogue while on others you are like ripples.
Can negative emotions be good for us?
Every emotion you experience is an indicator of how you feel. So the question is not whether a particular emotion is good or bad, but about why you are feeling what you are feeling.
Oftentimes we avoid the whys and are only concerned about the feeling itself. But the more we try to avoid the emotion, the more it perpetuates our suffering.
You cannot control your emotions just like you cannot control the ocean tide. But what you can control is how you flow through it.
How do you perceive the emotion that you are experiencing? For instance, if you are angry at someone, are you lashing out or are you filtering your emotions out? If you are guilty about something, are you allowing it to crumble you down or are you making amends for it?
What Happened When I Tried To Be Happy All The Time?
Not long ago, I believed that being happy was all life was about. Having a naturally cheerful disposition, sadness felt alien to me. But the more I denied my lower vibratory emotions, the more empty I felt.
Unconsciously, I was fueling my shadows, for I was suppressing many of my emotions. Hence, on some days I was ecstatic while on others I was depressed beyond measure. And in my quest to chase happiness, I was losing myself.
Things changed when I stopped putting happiness on a pedestal. I realized that I am not my emotions. Rather, I am the awareness that has the power to control my emotions. For the first time, I really encountered my emotions for what they were as I allowed them to flow through me. What changed was that I began responding instead of reacting to my emotions.
For instance, if I was angry, instead of lashing out which was my common reaction, I was consciously reminding myself to calm down. Not only did this eliminate post-reaction regrets, but controlling my anger only made me happier.
If I was sad, I did not try to be happy. Instead, I gave myself the space to feel the sadness and retrospect why I felt it. Journaling my emotions helped me to process them better. With time, I became better equipped to handle my negative emotions, knowing that they would pass eventually.
Conclusion
The key to life is not positivity, it’s acceptance. Accepting that not every day will be perfect. Accepting that there will be good days and bad, you will make mistakes, fail, and mess up, and things will not always fall into place. And THAT’S OKAY because THAT’S LIFE!
